


What I Do in the Morning

by AstraLowelle



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Interviews, Morning Routines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29254461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstraLowelle/pseuds/AstraLowelle
Summary: I’m being interviewed. I know I’ve been drugged to keep me lucid.  Funny, but I’m all about funny.I don’t know if they know that I know.
Kudos: 1





	What I Do in the Morning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Y. Gluck](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Y.+Gluck).



I’m the Joker.

Arkham escapee, Clown Prince of Crime, and Batman’s greatest enemy.

Flattering titles all.

I’m being interviewed. I know I’ve been drugged to keep me lucid. Funny, but I’m all about funny. 

I don’t know if they know that I know.

I’ve been asked how I spend the days that I’m not blowing things up or other things like that. Naturally those days are rare, but here’s what I do with those mornings. 

First I wake up. I yawn once, or twice, and then I get dressed. Getting dressed is easy. Putting on my makeup used to be hard, but it got easier with practice. Depending on the day or the comic or movie I’m appearing in, I may or may not comb my hair. I don’t brush my teeth. It makes my coffee taste funny.

I hardly ever drink coffee. I did once or twice. Harley made some for me once. She got angry when she saw my Batman mug. She makes terrible coffee. 

Then I read the newspaper with a red marker, circling all the happy events I see. After all, I do put the ‘laughter’ into ‘slaughter’. I play with my squirt flower too. I had to get new wallpaper three times. Not just because of my squirt flower.

I don’t like being interviewed. When is this drug going to wear off?

I had a poppy-seed muffin for breakfast once. I think I may be allergic. 

Alllllllllllergic.

Poppy-seed.

I think the drug’s wearing off.

I see the stirrings of apprehension on their faces.

I think I’m going to end this interview.


End file.
